Transthought

Invictus, My Life is Mine

Meeting friends who live far away -- like a college roommate from forty years ago -- which we did yesterday, is a very entertaining and curious experience. Have we changed as much as they? Impossible! Do we still behave with the same characteristics, gestures, expressions, as they do? Impossible! We have matured, they have not. We still see them as they were, rather than as they are, and if we should notice changes, we attribute them to aging, or cynicism, or negative happenings in their lives. But if such should exist in us, we call it growing up, reevaluating, admitting new ideas to shape our thinking and actions. In other words, whatever transformations they have gone through have all been negative, but those in our lives have been positive, making us better, smarter, more open than they.

I went to my high school class reunion, thirty-five years out. There were twelve of us there. I did not recognize one of them by sight, all of them by voice. I vowed never to go again. It was weird. I had not seen any of them in all those years, and probably will not see any of them again. My life has taken me places where they were not, both geographically and spiritually and emotionally and educationally. They have had a fulfilling and meaningful life, to be sure, but it was not my life, and I had very little to share with them. They seemed quite uninterested in my meanderings, and I even less in theirs. It was awkward, not even fun, and I thought quite a difficult evening. I left after dinner, not staying for the dance and drinking which surely followed.

So life is a journey that takes us to our own places. We are responsible for much of it, if not all of it, and it becomes what we make of it. Yes, there are often circumstances beyond our control, as we say, life-changing moments at some intersections, but for the most part, we go where we choose to go. I used to believe in predestination. Now I believe more in self-determination, that we reap, for the most part, what we ourselves sow. It does not benefit us much to blame our parents, or society, or other forces up against which we compete. When we point our finger at others, there remains three pointing right back at us. We are to a large degree the master of our own fate, Invictus!

Wayne's Words for July 18, 2006

posted by Wayne Olson @ 7:44 AM