Transthought

Getting Caught up

2006-12-06T09:30:00.000-05:00

The Christmas tree is up but that is all, except for a door decoration outside the front door. Christmas always comes with mixed feelings, and this year is no exception. Our son is being interviewed for a new excecutive position today in Rhode Island, our daughter is contemplating divorce, and we are wondering about our own future, considering a move to Vermont next summer. Christmas is always a lot of fun, but we will have to share it with only half our grandchildren, and we will h ave to travel to Detroit and Illinois to visit siblings. Weather is always a factor in this, too. Today it is cold!

So Rumsfeld is out and Gates is in. The NY Times is pleased with all that, so we are too. The war is awful, of course, and there are no easy answers to the mess we have brought on ourselves, let alone on the Iraquis. Christmas will be no fun over there, that's for sure.

My students won their way into the finals of speech night, but did not win the ultimate prize. Good for them.

Time and Its Mysteries

2006-09-12T11:11:00.000-04:00

Where does time go? Is there a material"thing" called time that actually go anywhere? Is time but a nonce entity that is over even as it occurs? Where does it go?

What time is it? No matter how you answer, it is always past the time you call out. The Present is elusive, for it doesn't last long at all. The Past is fixed and cannot be changed, and the Future doesn't even exist yet. Time is problematic. it cannot be frozen in the present or the future, and is rigidly stubborn in its ability to hold on to the Past. I am not sure Time even is, for it may have been, has not yet come, and when it is supposedly here, it zips through faster than a speeding bullet.

Nobody sees time, touches it, or photographs it. At best the photographer captures what is called a moment, but as soon as it is captured, it is history. Unlike space which we can touch, which we can shape, Time allows for none of that. It comes and goes and that is that. One moment replaces another more rapidly than we can imagine. What is now is by the time I write this and you read this is no longer now, but then. It is one of the most inconceivable topics in our repertoire. What can we say about Time except that wedo not understand it, have not conquered, and are still quite subject to its ongoing pursuits.

Time is interesting, to be sure. There are no time machines to take us back into other eras, or off into future days when things will be very different from what they are today. Today is tomorrow's yesterday, and yesterday's tomorrow. It is all so relevant, so fluid, so lively. We can look back and plan ahead, but we can't change a thing or even determine our destiny. The clocks keep ticking but they do not go backward or forward. Time is Time, and time and again we wrestle with its implications for our lives, without ever being able to recover what we may have wasted or lost, or stretch it out to give us more when we think we need more. We all have the same amount of time; nobody has a monopoly on it. It is indiscriminate in its gifts. Twenty-four hours a day -- period! For everyone! Time appears and disappears with regularity, and we are helpless to save it, prolong it, or shorten it. There it is, and there it goes -- poof! What is was; what will be will be and then it will be a way as well. How interesting!

Wayne's Words for September 12, 2006

Telephoning

2006-08-24T19:48:00.000-04:00

Why do we feel the need to answer the telephone? After all, it is an intrusion on whatever it is we are doing when it rings. We feel obligated to answer it and wonder who it was if we miss the call. We quickly consult the called ID and even call back if we do not recognize the number. It is a kind of paranoia, in a way.

I do not feel that way. The telephone is intended to be a convenience, not a necessity. I want to use it when I want to use it, not when somebody else wants me to. I can easily let it go. But having said that, I always look if I am near the phone -- and when is it I am not near one of the three phones or two cell phones in the house! -- to learn who it is who is trying to reach me. I always look when my wife is away; she always calls me and I am glad to have her calls, but for the rest, they can usually wait I figure.

Cell phones have changed the way we behave, too. I hear people talking as they walk down the street, sit in restaurants, shop in stores, or are in waiting rooms. My students have them in class and I always ask for them to be shut off. Once in a while they are not. There are no phone booths any more; telephone conversations are out in the open, and are annoying when overheard. It is hard not to listen in.

My wife and I have a policy of not answering if we do not recognize the number, unless we are expecting a call from some store or supplier. That used to bother her, but now it does not. It makes for a much more peaceful evening or afternoon at home, to be sure. Napoleon, I believe it was, used to tell his secretary not to open a letter for six weeks. If it is important, they will write back. I think the same principle applies to phone calls. If it is really important the caller will find a way to reach us.

So we like Caller ID, but we dislike call waiting. How rude it is to have to put somebody on hold so you can take another call! I always disregard the beep unless I am absolutely sure it is necessary to answer it.

So I use the phone sparingly; my wife calls the family regularly and talks usually a long time. I get all the news from her. If that is using her, then so be it. She needs that communication; I am happy to read about it on E-Mail or perhaps, if I am lucky, a regular letter delivered by the postpeople.

Communication is essential, of course, and I would not be without a telephone, or a mailbox, or even a cell phone, but sparingly used is my motto, and I urge it on others. And what gets me really angry is the use of a cell phone while driving, but that is another message for another time!

Wayne's Words for August 24, 2006

Weather and Its Effects

2006-08-22T15:54:00.000-04:00

It is one of those days that James Russell described as one in June: "Then if ever come perfect days." This is as near to perfect weather-wise as one can ask for. At least in this part of the world.

Weather affects the way we think and act, and dress and feel. I like it hotter rather than colder and I do not mind if it goes over ninety degrees. But today is in the high seventies, low eighties and low humidity. Perfect for any kind of outdoor activity and easy on the air conditioning, too!

It makes for safer driving, except I just heard a report that two policemen on bicycles were hit by a truck on Indiana 83 while in a charity bicycle ride. I wonder what kind of carelessness caused this. Insurance companies look at weather reports for the accidents they investigate. It is a huge factor, to be sure.

As I look out the window I see the leaves perfectly still, here at nearly four o'clock in the afternoon. A few birds flit around and there are some lazy clouds, but not much is happening. That is a far cry from the tornado, hail, rain, wind, etc., that we experienced many times in the spring this year. The roofers are still at work repairing damage from those storms.

We watched Spike Lee's documentary on Katrina last night and just cannot believe the devastation that storm inflicted, coupled, of course, by the ineptness of the relief efforts, if they existed at all. So many people suffered needlessly, or over much. How can this be tolerated in a country that can get food parcels to war-torn countries, but none to folks on rooftops in New Orleans? Politics plays strange games.

So it is a perfect day, except for the television news that I am avoiding at this time of day. We will turn it on later and sigh at the imperfections of people as they continue their power grabs, greed and indulgences. Let me enjoy my innocence and simplicity as I revel in the warmth and comfort of a day like this!

Wayne's Words for August 22, 2006

E-Mail and Newer Technology in My Life

2006-08-21T18:51:00.000-04:00

My brother turned 76 yesterday and we exchanged communications via E-Mail. I believe E-Mail is here to stay, of course, and use it frequently. Some of my friends insist that it is not acceptable to send birthday greetings, etc., as the primary means of acknowledging such anniversaries, but I find that it works wonders. No one to whom I have sent such has objected and all have responded appreciatively.

It takes a long time for new technology to get accepted in the popular culture, but E-Mail seems to making it more rapidly than others. I think it is replacing faxes and telepone calls as the fastest, most reliable means of getting a message through. But there is the security issue, the interception possibilities, and all the other horror stories we hear of how it is unsafe. I have not found it so, but found it surprisingly usable.

I haven't mastered the art of it yet, but I have learned to attach things, pictures, letters, web-pages, etc., and wonder if there is anything else I need to learn. My students are quite skilled at all this technology stuff and do not object at all to having syllabi, assignments, etc., online. I even administer examinations and quizzes online. It is great, and I was skeptical at first.

I wish we had such technology when I was writing my dissertaton at Columbia University some thirty years ago. It was just coming in and I tried to learn it in my final semester there, but I was too skeptical, I suppose. It was fun, but I recognized that it would take me longer to catch on than I had time in that semester, so I graduated by typing the whole thing out on an electric IBM. What fun!

So here I am blogging now! Who would have thought it then? I haven't shared this blogging idea with any of my family yet, but I shall now that I trust the system. I can't imagine their being very interested in it, but my brother will read it a little, I would suspect. Some of them share my views and some see things differently. Perhaps that is my reluctance, not wanting to upset them more than they already are about my nonconventional views on things. We shall see.

Wayne's Words for August 21, 2006.

Music Education

2006-08-20T11:04:00.000-04:00

Music is important in my life, as I suppose, and should hope, is in many, if not most, people's lives. The problem, of course, is what kind of music. I am stuck in the classical/baroque period and choose that almost always. My wife is a fine pianist and had been into my kind of music for many years, but lately has begun playing show tunes regularity and with increasing skill. So our tastes may change through the years it seems.

Why is music so important? I once attended a seminar of some kind at which we were asked to name what we would do if we had just three weeks left to live. I found myself saying I would listen to music. I think I would give the same answer today. My wife, however, cannot listen to music casually. She actually has to listen to it, to analyze it, study it, dissect it, or whatever musicians do when they listen to music. I just let it play. She calls mine background music and does not relish it. She want to concentrate on the music and does nothing else while she does that.

I see my college students driving their cars with their music playing. I do not think they are consciously listening to it, but they are responding to it, by beating the time with their heads, hands or feet. When you watch a children's program on television, they are always jumping around to the music (witness Barney). I see this as a threat to music education, and do not like it. Music causes us to react to it in some way. My way, I guess, is to let it drift into my nerves and soothe them. My wife's way is to let it drift into our mind and stimulate it. The students' way is to let it drift into their muscles and activate them.

I fear that the popular culture has worked its way into church music as well, and lowering standards there. The craze for praise songs eliminates the rich heritage we have from hymns, anthems, cantatas, oratorios, masses, et al. Church people do not read music and do not sing as well as they once did, I believe. Fewer of them play instruments, particularly piano, and not many accompany singing well. It will have a lasting effect on theology, to be sure!

Music does things to us. I do not understand school boards that cut the music budget when they have a money crunch. Music students do better in all academic fields than others. It teaches math, grammar, reading, thinking, discipline, philosophy, and almost every other subject. I do wish the schools and music teachers would spend less time on the popular culture and more on the classics, but that is clearly a losing battle what with all the show choirs being developed. Performance seems to be the emphasis rather than the appreciation. I think we should teach music in order to make us better, more noble, people, not to make us television stars.

Wayne's Words for August 20, 2006.

Economics and Education

2006-08-17T15:08:00.000-04:00

Well, I've been away from blogging for a few days and now I am back, ready to create some more transthoughts. School has now begun for most of the grandchildren and we are in the transportation business. I never realized what a big business education is -- busses that don't take the children from home to school with the convenience families require; politics gerrymandering school zones; lawmakers enacting uninformed policies; overppaid administrators who foul things up and underpaid teachers; etc. etc.

I cannot justify underpaying teachers, no matter what the taxes might be. If the public can afford to produce an industry like professional sports and money can be found to pay those outrageous salaries, why can it not be found to pay teachers a higher salary? There is more value, I think, to learning than spectating sportmen. Politicians, too, are overpaid for their worth, i believe, espcially when you hear of lobbyists and payoffs and the like. Economics is a funny world. The rich do indeed get richer and always at the expense of the poor.

I drive our granddaughter to and from school every day, about fifteen miles round trip twice. $3.00 a gallon for gas, plus the real estate taxes our children pay. Who gets all that money? The oil companies are reporting record profits and we are reporting hard times! It is just not fair! Somehow, someday, someone will come up with an answer that will rid this world of this inequity.

So they think they captured and arrested the slayer of little Jon Benet Ramsey! He is in Thailand teaching school. Where did he get the money to travel like that, or to enjoy the child pornography he is alleged to view.? People seem to get money for things they want, even if they don't have it for things they need!

Education is supposed to make us better citizens, and here is a teacher who is under arrest. Here are schools that have to raise taxes to support their administration, buildings, staff, supplies and athletic teams. Was it Plato who wrote, "All you need to have a school is a teacher on one end of a log and a pupil on the other." We have a long way to go to get back to that simple idea. Who will lead the way?

Wayne's words for August 17, 2006.

Negotiate to Find Peace

2006-08-08T13:15:00.000-04:00

One should talk to one's enemies. President Bush should talk to Syria, Iran, North Korea, and whoever else proffers themselves as an enemy to the state. Negtiation is always preferable to warfare, I would think.

Military might hardly ever settles anything. It creates more hatred, enmity and bad feelings and makes matters worse. Negotiation is preferable; it allows for compromise, concession, reduction of pride, and agreement to live together. Those goals seem more desirable than the destruction of property and people.

The interesting question among others is why do we have enemies to begin with? Why does anyone feel that we are a threat or that we are bad guys? Wht is it in human nature that causes some people to hate others? Why can't we live together in peace? Huge questions these, with answers difficult to find. Indianapolis has had thirteen murders in the past week. What provokes one to murder? I have had many confrontations that have angered me, upset me, or otherwise made me feel abused, but none has ever suggested to me that I should murder, kill, the perpetrator of those actions. Murder and warfare are in the same camp. They both arise out of irrational attitudes that need to be restrained somehow. Talking through a disagreement is always better than fisticuffs or killing.

So here we are with our President refusing to talk to Syria, let alone Iran. And the killing goes on. Maybe the talking will lead to nothing, but at least the effort was there, the sensitivity that this killing business is out of line. It would be a step in the right direction to have negotiations with the party you think is your enemy. You might even find some common ground, some procedures you can both subscribe to. Wouldn't that be better than what is happening now? Or is oil so important that we need to blast away to prove how strong we are? War is mainly over economic power in any case. Who controls what resources? That is the issue. We want land, we want oil, we want power, we want control. If one is in control, then one has to be on guard, and that need -- to control -- is dangerous. The more one has, the more protection is required. It is a vicious cycle.

So negotiate, don't bomb. I'm not sure the Sixties slogan is appropriate here -- make love, not war -- but make anything practically other than war, and you will find that we can all be together on this planet and make it a peaceful world to inhabit.

Wayne's Words for August 8, 2006

Birthday Celebrations

2006-08-07T12:16:00.000-04:00

Henry Thoreau did not write much about birthdays, even his own. One year he mentioned comings and goings on the 12th of July, his birthday, but no mention at all of the day's significance. Birthdays abound in my family in August. And we celebrate them all. I recall my father whose birthday was in August remarking that there are no holidays in August, so it was good to have a birthday to give the month some reason to celebrate something.

Celebrations are interesting, and different families, different institutions, different people, celebrate in different ways. I personally do not like the way athletes celebrate their achievements by pointing to the skies, or bumping chests, or slapping one another. I do not like it when stores celebrate holidays by having sales. I am not crazy about the way Christmas dominates the world for more than a month; in fact, I saw Christmas items on sale in a store just the other day! What do sales have to do with Washington's birthday?

I am not, however, a prude or a Puritan. I like a good time like everyone else, but I like it my own way. I do not like to have to celebrate out of obligaton, but out of spontaneous joy. I do not like forced parties, retirements, promotions, and the like. Nor do I like seeing bumper stickers praising a child for being on the honor roll. I prefer to celebrate in private with my intimates, and not be involved in group experiences. It is easy to find oneself acting silly at a celebration, saying things one wouldn't in a more rational moment say. I prefer the prepared speech to those off-the-cuff remarks one makes because asked to on the spur of the moment.

We have a son, a daughter-in-law (plus an ex-daughter-in-law), a brother, two grandchildren, a wedding anniversary, and, it used to be a father, all coming up in August for some kind of recognition. Is longetivity itself something to be celebrated? I suppose so, but how? Every family has its own traditions on how to deal with all this, and every time there is a marriage, or a birth, or a graduation, or something else, the issue arises: what to do? It is not how much to spend or where to go, but whether the celebration is worthy of what kind of observation. That is not always an easy decision, nor even is it easy to determine who makes the decision.

So celebrate your life however you will and must. Celebrate the life of those around you, and make life itself the winner!

Wayne's words for August 7, 2006

Health and Healthcare

2006-08-04T09:19:00.000-04:00

Health seems to be occupying my thoughts this morning. I sit here with a call to jury duty ,and a doctor's note explaining why I should not honor the call. I have prostate cancer, diabetes, and something called neuropathy. It sounds like I should be dead or dying at least, but I get around and accomplish my daily tasks fairly well. I tire easily and want to sleep a great deal.

Health is a blessing, of course, and it can be maintained for the most part by sensible living habits. Many people seem to live a healthy life while others who practice the same or similar lifestyles do not, so sensible living habits is no guarantee. I have lived without major health problems most of my life. It is only in the last two years that I have been seeing a doctor and the medications have kept me going.

My wife has had heart problems for a long time. She, and her two sisters, have similar problems, and her father died of a heart attack some twenty years ago. She and I have pretty much the same lifestyle. What causes illness? Is it carelessness, not attending to bodily needs, or is it pure random acts of violence perpetrated by germs, viruses, and the like? Is it genetic? Is it an accident of birth? I suppose it would be good to have the answers to these questions, and in some cases, of course, it is obvious why a person is ailing. We keep hearing about the importance of research, while at the same time being bombarded on television with pharmeutical ads on every possible disease.

The major monetary concern is money for health care (after warfare perhaps!). Pills, capsules, potions, treatments of all sorts, continue to cost more and more dollars. It is clearly a major part of our budget even with Medicare D. As a child I heard the discussions on socialized medicine and thought it something quite unAmerican. Now I believe every person is entitled to feel well if it is medically possible. Why should the rich be entitled to pills the poor can't afford? It is a nagging question politically and medically, not to mention economically. Food and medicine, housing and transportation should all be available to everyone and government should concentrate on making that possible, and quit this warmongering and building of bombs and missiles. When a person is given life, that person should be entitled to maintain that life with as much ease as is humanly and scientificlly possible. And that is the way I feel about healthcare.

Wayne's Words for August 4, 2006

Weather Incidentally

2006-08-03T09:02:00.000-04:00

Everyone talks about the weather but nobody does anything about it. So goes the common saying. The weather has been very much in the news lately what with record breaking heat waves from coast to coast. The heat wave broke last night with a vengeance, disrupting flight schedules in a vicious way. Chicago was particularly hard hit.

But the heat has taken its toll in St. Louis, California, New York and almost everywhere else in the country. A heat wave is an inconvenient truth, to borrow a phrase from Al Gore. I find myself in air conditioned places almost 95% of the time, so far, as I ride in an automobile, shop in a store, rest in my living room, or go to the classroom. I don't wear shorts and I almost always wear long sleeves.

The same holds true in winter. I hardly ever find myself wearing overcoats, hats, scarves, boots, etc., because I have heat wherever I happen to be. It is amazing to me, then, that people are so concerned about the weather. We have done something about it with our modern heating and cooling systems. The weather is almost incidental to what I have to do.

I watch the construction workers perspiring in this dreadful heat, and I rejoice that I do not have to be out there. I hear people mowing the lawn, and I rejoice that I do not have to do that any longer. I see pictures on television and in the newspapers of those who do have to cope with the heat, and I rejoice that I am not so affected. And then I think that today my power could go out, my car air conditioner may fail, and things could change drastically in a moment.

So I am not immune even in this comfortable existence that is mine. The paper tells this morning of a singer who discovered she had breast cancer despite her disciplined life. Bad things to happen to good people and there is little protection or insurance against them. This kind of thinking is what helps some cope with death; they observe that death is part of life and that's that. I suppose that is so.

In the meantime, the hot weather is abating today and that should change the headlines to something else. Did anybody do anything about it, or do something to cause the change? I doubt it, and so the week continues.

Wayne's Words for August 3, 2006.

Good News or Bad?

2006-07-31T16:27:00.000-04:00

How does one receive bad news? I just learned that one of my favorite baseball players, Greg Maddux, has been acquired by the Los Angeles Dodgers. I suppose in the long run it makes no difference in my life, but it means I will not see him in a Cub uniform any more, and I have to resurrect those feeelings I had when he went to the Braves from the Cubs years ago. So it depresses me for reasons not fully rational to me.

How do I receive bad news? With a shrug, in this case, but I have had to deal with bad news in other contexts, to be sure. My general philosophy tells me tht bad news is as equally a part of life as good news. There is a way to allow it to depress one, and a way to shrug it off and get on with life however is necessary. I have always chosen to get on with life, to put it behind me however I can, to do what I must to deal with the challenge, and start all over again, as the old Fred Astaire song has it.

Besides, who can define bad? There is a story in the Bible that reminds us that what seemed to be meant for evil or bad, was intended for good in the larger picture (The story of Joseph). How can we say that something is ultimately bad? It may turn out to be an act that will benefit us in the end. So I do not go to pieces when I get bad news; I tend to remain rather stoic and accept it as part of the day's happenings, examine it for its ramifications, and see what has to be done to deal with it.

Of course tragedy is something else. It is no tragedy that Maddux was traded, nor was it, for that matter, a tragedy when each of my aged parents died. It would be a tragedy if some act of violence took the lives of my wife or child or grandchild, and stoicism would not enter into the scene. Grief when it is genuine cannot be stoic. Therefore we must distinguish between what is merely bad and what is tragic. The old dramatists divide plays into comedy and tragedy, but a third category might be in order -- something that is neither tragic nor comic but simply is, which I believe defines most of life. It is similar to the argument I offer to those who try to define right and wrong. Different is neither, it just is, and we must learn to accept different as a legitimate category by which to make judgments, if we must judge at all. So with news, some of it is neither good nor bad; in fact, I submit most news is neutral in the largest sense, and we must learn to be content with that.

Wayne's Words for July 31, 2006

Marriage and Weddings -- Dilemma?

2006-07-29T08:41:00.000-04:00

There is a wedding in our family today. Weddings have been much in the news recently, particularly same-sex couples. The Christian Century had an article on an even more contemporary kind of relationship, polyamatory. There are advocates for all kinds of causes these days and so long as humanity exists, I suppose, there will be causes to defend, advocate, war against, etc.

To my way of thinking I wonder why marriage is so important. Heterosexuals (as we are called) have made a mess of the institution what with all the news about divorce, scandal, alimony, single-parenting, and what other ills have emerged from this reckless treatment of a once sacred institution. Why folks are clamoring to get into this melee is beyond me. But, of course, there are advantages to being married, I suppose, the main one being the legality or the endorsement of the State which enables folks to acquire certain benefits they might not otherwise have. It is unfair to those in permanent relationships not to be able to have insurance, hospital visitation rights, decision-making, estate, etc. as do many other people.

This polyamatory thing could make it all very interesting indeed. More than two people in some kind of relationship to which all parties agree makes for interesting considerations. I think it is similar to, but different from, the communes of earlier times, or polygamy, but I am not familiar enough with it to know for sure what constitutes polyamatory and what is just wild abandon!

In any case, we live in different times from the Victorians. How it all comes out, if it does, will be fascinating to watch. In the meantime, we have a wedding in the family today, one that not many in the family are happy about, and some who have travelled to get here could not really afford to do so. Why must brides insist on such expensive affairs? It makes eloping seem like a wise course. At least it is here and we did not have to travel for it, all we had to do was entertain house guests which we enjoy because it brought the grandchildren here from Vermont. (Not to mention our daughter and her husband!)

Wayne's Words for July 29, 2006

Long Car Rides

2006-07-28T08:10:00.000-04:00

Long car trips are sometimes exciting and sometimes boring. We used to drive from New York City to Gary, Indiana, without stopping. We had either two, three or four children with us and off we went, never thinking about the actual way we would feel when we arrived. And we arrived none the worse for the wear. Now we are lucky if the two of us can drive two hundred miles without getting weary of the whole thing.

Age has a way of changing lifestyle. It is not that our desires or attitudes even have changed so much. I would love to be able to drive like that again. But we just can't do it and we have little motivation to do so. Our kids just drove in from Vermont with only two children. They tried to do it in one clip, but found they had to overnight in Ashtabula. Have kids changed, or cars, or highways, or what? They complained about too many trucks to contend with.

So long car trips are out for us and maybe for them, too! I don't how they will do on the way back. They are here for a family wedding. So we have children sleeping on a sleep-sofa in the living room and they are doing fine. I don't know how the parents are doing. But somehow travelling takes it out of a person nowadays.

It is amazing how company in the house, even much beloved company, changes routine, procedures, etc. I believe we were company once like that and still are on occasion. I wonder how much our visits disrupted the routines of our parents and family members and friends. The agenda of the traveller is always more dominant than that of the host. And that makes a lot of difference!

I asked the children what the most impressive scenery they saw on their long ride was and they thought for a few moments and finally answered the canal here by our house in Indianapolis. Is there nothing between Vermont and here that impressed them? Oh, the innocence of children! I expected mountain views, rivers, even skylines of cities, or something, but no, it was the final block of their trip! I guess they love us most of all, and that is just fine with me.

Wayne's Words for July 28, 2006

Disabilities Abound

2006-07-26T19:40:00.000-04:00

Disabilities are on my mind today. We have a grandson who has Down Syndrome. My wife is nearly deaf in one ear. She misunderstood something we said to her today and we laughed about it. She, of course and rightly so, interpreted our laughter as being at her and remarked about it. Our grandson who is ten is into hitting his sisters rather hard, tugging at my wife's earrings until it hurts her, and running away from the yard without warning. It is difficult to tolerate his ever-increasing physicality. He knocked the toaster to the floor in the kitchen as well. He delights in grabbing my throat and squeezing until it hurts.

I have had students who are disabled and it is a challenge. One who was blind, another who could not walk, another who was deaf and had tutors signing to him during class, and others through the years. It is not the same when such students are in the classroom. They get extra time to do tests, are allowed to tape record at will, use dictionaries, etc. It makes for some unfairness to other students at times, but mostly other students understand the situation and do not complain.

Is mainstreaming a proper course for such students? I would like to believe that it is, and have thrown my hat into the ring of its defenders. Even so, I wonder. Our schizophrenic son could not make in the real world, I fear, as much as he tries and as much as we encourage him to do so. There are limitations that just cannot be overcome. When is it okay to have disabled persons in the mainstream and when should they be in special education? I am sure physicians, educators, social workers, parents and the disabled themselves wrestle with the question on a daily basis.

I would love to see a world where there are no disabled, but I see one that seems intent on creating more disabled persons, refusing to fund stem cell research, dropping missiles and bombs into the middle of cities, and drinking while driving. When will we get on board and try to correct the context in which disabilities are created? When will medicine be allowed to engage in research that will lead to the cure for such anomalies? When will we stop making war? When will we get alcohol under control? There are some issues we need to be working on in this Century so that disability will be lessened and our future family and social lives can be freer of such conditions.

Wayne's Words for July 26, 2006

Experience the Gerund

2006-07-25T15:15:00.000-04:00

"There is no substitute for experience." That is what I found myself saying this morning in a conversation about television newscasters. The trend today is for the "Barbie-doll" types and the "studs" to be on screen. But have you noticed? When they want to do an in-depth report or something or analyze something of historical or interntional significance, they call in the older guys. Television sees itself too often as a visual medium only, but I, and I should hope countless others, see it primarily as an informational medium. I am not impressed by the appearance of the reporter as much as by the content of what is offered. I listen for news, I do not look for beauty.

Experience counts. There has never been a young Pope that I know of. There is even a minum age for the President, as there is for the right to drink or vote, or serve in the Military. I learned more from older teachers when I was in school. And so I believe experience counts. Who is old enough to have learned from experience, asks Thoreau, and so ask I. Is all my experience pedagogic? Or am I still learning?

We operate on the assumption that a diploma signifies educational accomplishment, but not education itself. No one is ever fully educated. We often ask others, where did you get your education, when we should ask what do they know. One of the problems in the religious world is that confirmation is often interpreted as the license to quit attending worship. As if being confirmed is the equivalent of learning all there is to know about the particular religion. I have learned far more about religion since I was confirmed than ever I knew at the time.

And so with all departments of learning. Graduate studies in the university do not guarantee the acquisition of knowledge. Post-graduate studies are requisite to that, and they should continue on an independent basis long after any advisor or Dean has anything to say about what we are learning. Learning is life-long and far more involved than teaching. The teacher can only impart what has been learned up to that point, but if the teacher is likewise a learner, then next semester's lesson will be much richer for the student than the one just completed.

There is no substitute for experience. One gets experience only by living, doing, being, practicing, studying, and otherwise being involved in the human adventure. One is never fully experienced, but is forever experencing. The gerund is the most telling grammatical feature. Take away the "ing" and you find a static finality that corresponds to death. A corny phrase has it exactly right: "Keep on keeping on!"

Wayne's Words for July 25, 2006

Dreams

2006-07-23T17:37:00.000-04:00

There is a dream I keep having about a particular place which I recognize only in my dream. I have, to my conscious knowledge, never been there and am not sure it even exists, but it is a rather large house in a rural setting, with much lawn and trees around it. I do not know who lives in it, except they are older people, perhaps people my parents visited when I was a child. I feel secure there, but there is nothing for me to do except be there. I cannot visualize the interior at all, nor even the people, but I know I am there, and I visit this place probably four or five times a year. It happened in my dream about a month ago, and I tried to pull it up into my thoughts the next morning, as I am doing now, and was able only to get a fleeting glimpse of it.

Dreams may or may may not be reality in our conscious lives, but they certainly are in our unconscious lives. That place exists and can be recreated over and over again. If ever I should see it in real life, I would know it instantly. That is how vivid it is. I wonder how I would react if I were to see it really. It might be scary, and it might be fun!

Dreams are an integral part of life and we encounter them in fiction, film and theater. One plays, for examlple, a major role in "Fiddler on the Roof," and, of course, in "A Christmas Carol." They are in the Bible as well. There are academy courses in dreams and their interpretation and many who exploit dreams with pseudo-interpretations. Freud made much of them, too.

I encourage day-dreaming among my students (not in class, of course) as an exercise in imagination. I find it very relaxing to create fictional scenarios in my mind when I am trying to get to sleep, or when I feel particularly stressful. I often just sit in a chair and allow myself to drift off into some strange place, often guiding myself to get there and then letting go.

I think there is a relationship between this exercise and what some call prayer. When you hear folks talk about how prayer changes things, they are probably talking about that which day-dreaming accomplishes for me. It is a kind of pep talk to one's self, a way of thinking things through under more or less controlled conditions. Often this leads to actions, but not necessarily so, and certainly not always. The most common benefit, for me, is relaxation. And when I come out of this dream world, I am more fit to meet the actual world. It matters not how extreme the dream may have been; what matters is that I had it, and emerged from it. I have been called a dreamer by some, and I consider it a compliment.

Wayne's Words for July 23, 2006

A Free Saturday Afternoon

2006-07-22T08:34:00.000-04:00

When doing Impromptu speeches in my speech class, one topic I often choose for a student to talk about is "How Would I Spend a Free Saturday Afternoon." Saturday seems to be a freer day than any other in the lives of most people. Of course they talk about their hobbies, dreams or some trivial aspect other than work or school. Usually it involves family or friends, seldom only doing something by themselves. Saturday is perceived as a kind of holiday from obligation in most instances.

So here it is Saturday. My wife is playing the piano, my son rummaging in his room, and here I am with no school work to do, and only some routine chores to be accomplished. It is a typical Saturday in July. We are not expecting company or family visitors, may go grocery shopping, or otherwise loll the day away.

I wonder how much could be accomplished if Saturdays were used in industrious ways. When people say they have no time for this task or that obligation, I wonder how much of it could be accomplished if Saturdays were considered with more seriousness. Not that resting, leisure, or self-centered activity isn't worth while, but I could do much more than I do if I did not reserve Saturdays for nothing. Russell Baker once wrote a column in the New York Times of his inability to do nothing, and the concept has stuck with me for many years. It is impossible to do nothing, even if that nothing is nothing more than thinking.

So here I am writing in this blog, some would consider this doing nothing, especially if no one reads this, and what am i accomplishing? Perhaps this kind of thinking reflects my Calvinistic training and upbringing, and stems from a deep-seated guilt about not getting things done, but I don't know. It took me a long tme to appreciate the value of doing nothing, to accept the fact that leisure was as significant as work, and that I and all people are entitled to some free time, away from duty, obligation, and achievement. That, it seems to me, is the value of a free saturday afternoon. My students hardly ever talk about it in this kind of context. Maybe I should make such a speech!

Wayne's words for July 22, 2006

Flow Gently, Sweet People

2006-07-21T09:52:00.000-04:00

What to make of Israel's determination to destroy Hezbollah? What to make of Hezbollah's and Hamas's determination to destroy Israel? It goes back to biblical times and the entire history of the scriptures is to assure humanity that God has a way of overcoming the sins of the world. I find myself skeptical of any Divine activity in any of this. God is not a god who takes sides in human conflict. God, to my understanding of the term, is one who is god of all, not of some. It makes the scriptures suspect when it speaks of chosen people, the elect, or any other term used to designate god's favorite people. Ot it makes the people suspect who resort to the use of such terms to justify their actions or sins.

It makes prayer interesting. Both sides seem to be praying. Who is listening? It is like athletes praying before a game, or a team having a chaplain on its bench or in the locker room. Why should god give a victory to this team rather than that one? Or like farmers praying about the weather. Or teenagers wanting good weather on beach days when farmers want rain. Religion sure confuses the human condition. Was it Schleiermacher who announced that the problem is not religion, but religions?

Reporters and politicians from both or all sides are the talking heads on television, each giving an interpretation of what is going on, on who caused it, on what should be done. It is all beyond logic. War has no logic, despite its reliance on science and strategy. If anyone had any sense, there would be no triggers pulled, no missiles fired, and no killing or property damage. But the war toys exist and when the toys are present, they will be used, sooner or later. We are now at the sooner part of that time and the missiles are bringing death and destruction on both sides of the Lebanese border. Neither side has the right to shoot at the other, no matter what the provocation.

I do not understand war, military, or politics. I do not really understand property rights, or materialism in general. What is mine is everybody's. Sharing is the only way to behave, not grabbing or having or wanting or pouting or yelling. The gentle spirit is the most productive of all. But that is far too ideal in this world of lust and power. When will we ever learn?

Wayne's words for July 21, 2006

Is Baseball Reality?

2006-07-20T17:50:00.000-04:00

I wish I could write about baseball like Bart Giamatti did. I have passion for the sport, I see its poetry and believe in its magic. I spend much time, especially now, watching it on television, and feel emotions as I do so. It is metaphor in so many ways, but I am not capable of explaining those metaphors in words as clearly as I would like. Bart wrote about its connection to nature and the seasons, and the ups and downs of life itself, in ways I could identify with, but when I try to do that I find the task and its sentences so inadequate, so many things unexpressed, so many messages not transmitted, that I cease the effort.

Writing is hard work; nothing daunts so much as the blank page. I was always able to write a sermon when in need of one, but I doubt that any of them will live beyond me. People often tell me that I have a gift for writing, for words, etc., but I do not have the ability to convert that talent into any kind of consistent or memorable product. I really want to do that with my affection for baseball, but so far I have not found the key to doing it. If I were to write something for the ages, I would like it be about baseball and the way it addresses my needs, and perhaps the needs of others. I have read accounts of how people's behavior and attitudes are affected by the way their favorite sports teams are performing, and I beleive that to be the case. I would like to explore that on paper, "in depth" as one might say, but I have not, or can not, or perhaps even will not.

I admire good writers and read a lot (less not than I used to!), but it is something like Ted Willliams allegedly saying that he could not teach anyone to hit like he did. I can see what great writers do, how they construct their sentences and paragraphs, but when I set the pen to paper, or the hand to the keyboard, it does not come out in the way I wish, or in the way I have conceived it in my mind. The brilliant insights that greet my brain are not transferable to the printed page. I wonder if this is a common experience for others.

I just watchd the Cubs beat Houston this afternoon. I came away marvelling at the skill of the players, and, in a few instances, of their failure to perform. When a Ted Williams strikes out, is it a failure, or just part of the day's work? When I can't write, is it a failure, or just the way it is for that day? I shall pursue these thoughts as long as I live, I suppose, and maybe some day, I shall know that it is not a fault, but a fact, that one cannot adequately define one's thoughts to others. Maybe poetry or metaphor is the only way, and I shall keep seeking for words that will accomplish that. In the meantime, I shall continue thnking, seeing, experiencing, and being, and enjoy it all!

Wayne's Words for July 20, 2006

Faith, Truth and Me

2006-07-19T16:17:00.000-04:00

It is always interesting to visit one's doctor. I saw him (in my case, it is a him!) this morning after a three month hiatus. He thinks I am well enough to stay away for another three months. I have been summoned to jury duty in August and I asked him if my condition(s) were of such a nature that I could be excused. He said he would send a note telling what my conditions were and they would decide if they qualified for excuse. I will check the box that says I have a physical condition that will prevent me from serving and then we shall see. It is not that I don't want to serve, it is more than I just don't have the energy to do that. I can teach a class for an hour or two, come home and rest and be ok, but I doubt that I could keep going all day and be alert enough to be of much use to the court.

But then, I don't really want to serve, when I get honest with myself. It is not that I do not wish to perform my civic duty, as they call it, it is rather that I am becoming disillusioned with government in general. And to contribute to what is going on seems to me to become part of the problem. The President today vetoed the legislation Congress passed concerning stem cell research. Congress doesn't have enough votes to override the veto, so it will probably die. Another victory for the Conservatives on their way to taking away the freedoms that have made our country so great. How can anyone be against stem cell research! Why do conservatives not trust science? Evolution, stem cells, even birth control pills, etc. etc. On and on they rail against intellect, wisdom and common sense. They have to establish their own schools so they can teach it their way. This troubles me greatly. Is truth limited to so narrow a view? I think not

I am not a raving liberal. I am quite conservative in many respects. I am not a conservative. I am quite liberal in many respects. I eschew labels that divide us one from the other. I do not see a conflict between science and faith; after all, the scientist must have faith that experimentation will produce results. I have faith when I reach for the light switch, or the ignition on the car, or when I sit in a chair. Faith precedes all actions. I even like Thoreau's observation that "there is no creed so false but faith can make it true." Truth is what we come to believe in the final analysis, not necessarily what we are taught, but what we perceive in the living of our days. We can manufacture truth, and many have, witness the many versions of religion that exist! But truth is not in the creed, only in the experience. So the doctor's description of my conditions is his truth; how the court interprets it is its truth, and what I understand is my truth. Hopefully, they will be one and the same when all is said and done.

Wayne's words for July 19, 2006

It All Depends

2006-07-19T11:13:00.000-04:00

A visit to one's doctor is a challenge. One goes with anticipation, fear perhaps, out of necessity, or merely routine, but always it is an unknown until it happens. Will there be good news or will it be unwelcome. The doctor must have some reservations as well, for he or she must deal with all the various quirks the patient brings in -- quirks of personality, not knowing whether humor is advisable, when to interrupt what the doctor is saying or doing, whether to ask questions, or reveal some information that may be relevant, and maybe is not. All kinds of games are being played in such a situation, and it is fascinating to contemplate what dynamics are operative in the moments of encounter.

Then when one leaves the examination room, how does one reflect responsibly about it all. I suppose it depends a great deal on what the discussions and evaluations were, but the questions linger: did I tell the doctor everything I intended to tell, did I ask stupid questions, was I too cavalier about it all, etc.? Do I fill these prescriptions now or later? What do I tell my family? How do I really feel? Hard questions to answer at times, and at other times easy. It all depends ...

Much of what we do and think depends. Circumstances revolve around us, making it difficult and imperative to make choices we aren't prepared to make. It all depends .. on weather, on chance, on providence, on the actions of others. What is imperative is that we learn to make decisions, that we listen carefully when we attend the lesson on how to make the right choice. Education needs to spend more time teaching this lesson. A curriculum needs to be developed on helping people learn the art. We are not in control of the things we refer to when we say "It all depends." How do we meet those things, those dependencies. That, it seems to me, is the biggest challenge we confront in the living of our days. How a reader responds to these paragraphs depends on the reader and the circumstances in his or her life. So you see, "It all depends."

Wayne's words for July 19, 2006.

Invictus, My Life is Mine

2006-07-18T07:44:00.000-04:00

Meeting friends who live far away -- like a college roommate from forty years ago -- which we did yesterday, is a very entertaining and curious experience. Have we changed as much as they? Impossible! Do we still behave with the same characteristics, gestures, expressions, as they do? Impossible! We have matured, they have not. We still see them as they were, rather than as they are, and if we should notice changes, we attribute them to aging, or cynicism, or negative happenings in their lives. But if such should exist in us, we call it growing up, reevaluating, admitting new ideas to shape our thinking and actions. In other words, whatever transformations they have gone through have all been negative, but those in our lives have been positive, making us better, smarter, more open than they.

I went to my high school class reunion, thirty-five years out. There were twelve of us there. I did not recognize one of them by sight, all of them by voice. I vowed never to go again. It was weird. I had not seen any of them in all those years, and probably will not see any of them again. My life has taken me places where they were not, both geographically and spiritually and emotionally and educationally. They have had a fulfilling and meaningful life, to be sure, but it was not my life, and I had very little to share with them. They seemed quite uninterested in my meanderings, and I even less in theirs. It was awkward, not even fun, and I thought quite a difficult evening. I left after dinner, not staying for the dance and drinking which surely followed.

So life is a journey that takes us to our own places. We are responsible for much of it, if not all of it, and it becomes what we make of it. Yes, there are often circumstances beyond our control, as we say, life-changing moments at some intersections, but for the most part, we go where we choose to go. I used to believe in predestination. Now I believe more in self-determination, that we reap, for the most part, what we ourselves sow. It does not benefit us much to blame our parents, or society, or other forces up against which we compete. When we point our finger at others, there remains three pointing right back at us. We are to a large degree the master of our own fate, Invictus!

Wayne's Words for July 18, 2006

Photographs and Emotions

2006-07-17T09:49:00.000-04:00

Vacation photographs keep arriving online from family and friends. There are covered bridges, mountain views, fishing poles, swimming garb, park signs, and faces of children and adults in various places, doing various things. This online immediacy is startling, compared to the older times when we would have to wait until the folks returned from their exotic travels and get the film developed and sort out the good ones from the poorer ones, select those for reprints, etc. Now we see what they see even before they cease seeing it!

I like this immediacy when it helps foster positive feelings. I do not like it when it does the opposite. CNN, MSNBC and the other channels are using it these days to illustrate the horrors of war in the Middle East. Fires, destroyed buildings, people wailing, grief, pain everywhere. What to make of it? The happy scenes of nature's splendor, of family members having a relaxing happy time are contrasted with those of anguish and stress. Life asks a lot of us. It places us in positions to deal with the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the right and the wrong, and all the other contrasts and opposites that comprise our daily schedules. It is a wonder that we are not all mad as our common condition.

There is little I can do about the war, I suppose. I can discuss with my Jewish son, but that sometimes ends with unspoken words from both of us. And what does talking about it accomplish towards "doing something about it" anyway? We can talk about the weather, but what can we do? I can certainly enjoy the vacation pictures, and perhaps that is the best thing to do in the midst of the other. But does concentrating on the positive do anything at all to eliminate the negative? Evil happens when good people do nothing, it is said, but what specifically is there to do? Is not enjoying the vacation pictures a way of avoiding the troubesome? It is a dilemma that confronts us all.

So the weather continues, blazing hot today. The war continues, blazing fires today in Beirut and Haifa. The vacation continues and more pictures will arrive tomorrow, blazing campfires perhaps. Life is a series of the good and the bad, and much in between. My emotions will be pushed in this direction and that, and I shall survive them all. That is the way it has always been and that is the way it will be. Perhaps I am asked only to realize that I am capable of facing the whatevers and getting through them. It matters not whether the road be rough or smooth, only that I travel it with courage, strength and nobility.

Wayne's words for July 17, 2006

Sunday Morning is Not Wasted!

2006-07-16T08:39:00.000-04:00

It is Sunday morning. It used to be on Sunday mornings I would deliver a homily (sermon) to whatever congregation I was serving in my pastoral position. I did that for over forty years until I tired of it, or caught on that I was not exactly changing the world. Now I hardly ever darken a church door and that seems even more comfortable. I recall an article in Life Magazine, I believe, in the Fifties (?) entitled something like "Sunday Morning: The Most Wasted Hour in the Week". Its theme was that with all the sermonnizing going on at that time, why did the world continue to have such negative behaviors on every side? Not much has changed since then, has it? Religion is trying to change the world, it seems. We have religious warfare, literally and metaphorically, in greater numbers than ever before. So I must resist the temptation to turn these pages into sermons, to offer MY answers to world problems. The best I can do, I guess, is to learn to cope with whatever it is I run up against, and to hope that I do not become part of the problem.

I used to be good at giving answers, but then I discovered that it is the asking of questions, not the giving of answers, that is the most noble activity of them all. Answers hardly ever satisfy, questions challenge, probe, provoke, and stimulate. Questions lead to searches, to learning, to excitement. Answers close doors, shut off learning, and exclude possibilities. So as this exercise in writing continues and develops, the reader (if there is one!) will see that my words are inquisitive, not definitive, and that will have to do. Every once in a while, of course, an answer comes that brings a sort of peace or certainty, but such whiles are few and far between, at least in my experience. So I go on, searching and pressing, hoping that the questions will lead to some rich and unknown perceptions that will help in the coping struggle. And I am content with that, for I know that whatever benefit is derived, it is mainly one that will enrich me and not necessarily be one required for all persons to adopt.

Wayne's Words for July 16, 2006