Transthought

Telephoning

Why do we feel the need to answer the telephone? After all, it is an intrusion on whatever it is we are doing when it rings. We feel obligated to answer it and wonder who it was if we miss the call. We quickly consult the called ID and even call back if we do not recognize the number. It is a kind of paranoia, in a way.

I do not feel that way. The telephone is intended to be a convenience, not a necessity. I want to use it when I want to use it, not when somebody else wants me to. I can easily let it go. But having said that, I always look if I am near the phone -- and when is it I am not near one of the three phones or two cell phones in the house! -- to learn who it is who is trying to reach me. I always look when my wife is away; she always calls me and I am glad to have her calls, but for the rest, they can usually wait I figure.

Cell phones have changed the way we behave, too. I hear people talking as they walk down the street, sit in restaurants, shop in stores, or are in waiting rooms. My students have them in class and I always ask for them to be shut off. Once in a while they are not. There are no phone booths any more; telephone conversations are out in the open, and are annoying when overheard. It is hard not to listen in.

My wife and I have a policy of not answering if we do not recognize the number, unless we are expecting a call from some store or supplier. That used to bother her, but now it does not. It makes for a much more peaceful evening or afternoon at home, to be sure. Napoleon, I believe it was, used to tell his secretary not to open a letter for six weeks. If it is important, they will write back. I think the same principle applies to phone calls. If it is really important the caller will find a way to reach us.

So we like Caller ID, but we dislike call waiting. How rude it is to have to put somebody on hold so you can take another call! I always disregard the beep unless I am absolutely sure it is necessary to answer it.

So I use the phone sparingly; my wife calls the family regularly and talks usually a long time. I get all the news from her. If that is using her, then so be it. She needs that communication; I am happy to read about it on E-Mail or perhaps, if I am lucky, a regular letter delivered by the postpeople.

Communication is essential, of course, and I would not be without a telephone, or a mailbox, or even a cell phone, but sparingly used is my motto, and I urge it on others. And what gets me really angry is the use of a cell phone while driving, but that is another message for another time!

Wayne's Words for August 24, 2006

posted by Wayne Olson @ 7:48 PM